I Have Just One Question For You, Jane Fonda:
What? and Why?

Dear Jane Fonda,

     How are things going? Have you gotten your divorce from media mogul Ted Turner finalized? I was just wondering because I recently saw a 1973 film you starred in, called A Doll's House, and your performance was so wretched that it could be possibly be used against you in the court of law. It shows a blatant disregard for the well-being of others, first and foremost the audience. Jane, we were willing to accept your feminist viewpoints. If your only sin had been your exercise videos, I would not have a made a big deal about it. But Jane, after watching this horrendous A Doll's House performance, I am left with just one question: What? and Why?

     Granted, A Doll's House is an ideal vehicle for the type of sentiment you were attempting to foster in the bosoms of the women of America. But did you not think that perhaps your turn as a housewife who decides to loose herself from the grip of an overbearing husband was just a little too heavy-handed? I mean, you basically crush the message of Ibsen's 1879 play with your iron-fisted grip of preachy soliloquies. You make Ms. Helmer out to be a paragon of virtue, a textbook example of the freedom that you want to women to enjoy. But the problem is, Jane, by the end of the movie I have no sympathy for this woman. And it is not the script's fault. It is yours.

     What were you thinking by casting yourself in the central role? You had to have known that your real-life escapades in the name of Women's Liberation would tend to obscure and perhaps cloud your vision coming in to the role. Also, it looked through most of the early parts of this frighteningly drawn-out movie that you just could not wait to lay the hammer down on the poor husband (David Warner). You were nearly jumping out of authentic time period clothes with the thought of getting to crack the whip over the head of a chauvinistic male. The play does not work that way. Nora is still very much devoted to her husband until that last sequence where he will not show her mercy. Jane, you were too modern.

     Why did you decide to soil Ibsen's basic plot line with your convoluted wanderings? You tried to update the film by adding prequel information that was only implied by the play. The result was only added time. Even in the first scene with your friend at the ski resort, you were already licking your lips at the thought of your final diatribe. Jane, please give your fans and even those who do not necessarily dislike you an apology. If you would just face your mistake with dignity, we might forgive you for soiling a great work of literature. I hope everything works out okay between you and Ted.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Sircy

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