Andrea’s Greatest Movie Ever

         So I got this great idea that I should make a movie version of A Streetcar Named Desire. Now do not get me wrong; the version with Marlon Brando is excellent, but most people of my generation would not pay to see it. Face it, the only good reason to remake any movie is to make money. I do not think I would change the story line much, just two parts in the whole movie need to be fixed.

         The first part is the rape scene in Scene 10. It is extremely short. "If you blink, you will miss it" is what most people would say about it. Another thing is that unless you read the book, you would never know that Stanley rapes Blanche at all. The audience needs to know! So as horrible as it sounds, I would add a semi-graphic rape scene to my version.

         The second thing that is wrong with the story line is the ending. In the play, Stella stays with Stanley, but in the film version, she leaves him by running upstairs to Eunice's (Peg Hillias) apartment. After our class discussion, I have come to realize that the movie leaves it open for her to run back downstairs to him when he starts calling her name. This has to be fixed, and I think the best way to do this is by showing Stella boarding a plane with her baby.

         The next task would be to assemble an all-star cast. Since there really are no great actors like Brando, I would have to cast the next best thing: Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt is good-looking and seems capable of pulling off this drastic role. And who better to play his wife than Jennifer Aniston? She is one of my all-time favorite actresses, but I think she would have to dye her hair back to its darker color for this part. To me, Aniston has the "My man can do no wrong" air about her, but she can kick him to the curb when he screws up, too. Gwyneth Paltrow would be my Blanche for her dry voice, innocent looks, and golden hair. My Mitch would have to be Matt Damon because of his good-boy, down-to-earth attitude. Eunice's character would have to be Winona Ryder because of her edgy attitude. Steve would be played by Shane West because he is Shane West. Topher Grace would play the doctor because it is such a small role, and I want people sitting in the theater to be surprised by the cast. The Mexican woman with the flowers could be played by Salma Hayek for the same reason as Topher Grace. The young man who gets kissed by Blanche would be played by Oliver James because he is a new, hip, sweet young actor. The doctor's assistant could be played by Milla Jovovich, my favorite actress, just so I could say I worked with her.

         The next consideration would have to be sets. These can make or break a movie. So I think we should do live sets. An old, run-down apartment complex in New Orleans during some of the cooler months, but not too cool. The bowling alley could be a modern-day facility with disco bowling at night. Disco bowling is normal bowling, but with lights and music, and glow-in-the-dark bowling pins.

         Now we turn to costumes, my favorite part. Since Blanche wears fancy clothes, I would have Gwyneth Paltrow wear dresses like the one she wore on Oprah the other day. Brad would wear simple T-shirts with Gap jeans. Jennifer would wear simple slacks and shirts or plain dresses. I would pretty much keep the same dress code except maybe allowing the women to wear pants or shorts instead of dresses. I would also switch everything to modern designers and modern clothes, such as Ralph Lauren, Oscar de la Renta, Prada, Gucci, and Versace.

         With all these details, I hope my version of Streetcar would be a great hit. I would really like to do a movie like Ocean's Eleven, full of laughs and bringing in big box office bucks. I can see it now as the number one in the box office its opening weekend, grossing over $100 million. It would be a dream come true.

Andrea Coleman

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